Let Phil Van Tee - Standup Comic be your choice for the perfect Comedian at your private party, corporate event, or special occasion. Phil Van Tee - Standup Comic will travel up to 3000 miles from Los Angeles, California.
Are you a professional event planner or wedding consultant in the Los Angeles area who books two or more events per year? If so, consider registering for our Professional Event Planner's Membership, and enjoy 100% commission-free bookings!
click here
Safe Book - This entertainer accepts secured online deposits through Gigmasters.
This entertainer travels nationwide for bookings.
LOCATION:
Los Angeles,
California
TRAVEL RADIUS:
Will travel up to 3000 miles from Los Angeles, CA.
SURROUNDING AREA:
Alhambra, Bell Gardens, Glendale, Huntington Park, Maywood, Monterey Park, Bell, Hollywood, Pasadena, South Pasadena, Montebello, South Gate, Burbank, Beverly Hills, Inglewood, Rosemead, San Gabriel, San Marino, Culver City, Downey, El Monte, Lynwood, Pico Rivera, Toluca Lake, Universal City, Willowbrook, Compton, La Canada, Montrose, North Hollywood.
PRIMARY CATEGORY:
Comedian
ADDITIONAL CATEGORIES:
Magician
AVAILABLE FOR:
Anniversaries, Awards Nights, Bachelor Parties, Bachelorette Parties, Banquets, Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs, Birthday Parties, Casinos, Celebrations, Christenings, Christmas Parties, Church Services, Clubs, Coffee Shops, Community Events, Conventions, Corporate Functions, Country Clubs, Cruise Ships, Dinner Dances, Festivals, Fraternity Functions, Fund Raisers, Funerals, Graduation Parties, Grand Openings, Hotels, Jingles, Movie Soundtracks, Picnic, Private Parties, Proms, Resorts, Restaurants, Reunions, Showers, Ski Lodges, Sorority Function, Studio Session, Temples, TV Soundtracks, Weddings
PERFORMING SINCE:
1974
PAY RANGE:
$600-$4800 per night
INFLUENCES:
Mark Twain, Will Rogers, W. C. Fields, Steve Martin
DESCRIPTION:
Long and lanky (6' 8"), Phil Van Tee has been seen on MAD T. V., THE MAN SHOW, RENO 911, Showtime, A&E, Si-T. V. & NICKELODEON! He recently appeared in director Clint Eastwood's movie, "The Changeling"! 2003 winner of a TELLY AWARD (cable T. V.'s version of the EMMY). A graduate of RINGLING BROS. Clown College, Phil has tickled funnybones all across the U. S., Canada, and the Caribbean. Born in Chapel Hill, N. C., raised in Ohio, and working out of L. A., this comedian has an amazingly well defined character. His performance is clean and strong with silly stories and quick, funny jokes about his strange
Grandfather, his 3 wives (Bigamy? No! Trigonometry!), his misadventures with pets, and his bizarre comedy travels. --------Also a performing member of Hollywood's prestigious Magic Castle, Phil is an excellent closeup magician - what a great double threat for his clients!------------Phil has performed OVER 12,000 SHOWS in the past quarter century, from circus mud show to shiny T. V.! 12,000 shows? Why not make it 12,001? Call Phil today - He's a nice guy!----------------OVER HIS LONG AND NOBLE CAREER, LOOK WHO HAS PERFORMED WITH PHIL: Paula Poundstone, Denis Leary, Rosie O'Donnel, Jay Leno, Cheech Marin, Bobcat Goldthwaite, Will Durst, Steve Harvey, The Maguire Sisters, Wendy Liebman, Kevin Meany, Lenny Clarke, Patton Oswald, Mort Sahl, Rob Schneider, Margaret Smith, Chris Titus, Ellen Degeneres, Carlos Alazraqui, Amazing Jonathon, Sammy Shore, Pauly Shore, John Byner, Dana Carvey, Margaret Cho, Sinbad, Dave Coulier, Jim Breuer, David Cross, Jeff Foxworthy, Janeane Garofalo, Sam Kinison, Rich Jeni, Jake Johanson, George Miller, Emo Philips, The Unknown Comic, Bruce Baum, Kip Adotta, Roseanne Barr and countless more!---------------------------HERE'S A SMALL SAMPLE OF PHIL'S ORIGINAL ONE-LINERS: "I was raised in Lorain, Ohio. Not the brightest people in Lorain. We had a dangerous piece o' highway called, 'Massacre Mile'; known for it's poor engineering and high accident rate. State of Ohio gave Lorain $500,000.00 to do something about it... so they put up bleachers."-------------"My Dad made his living as a mortician. The house I was raised in was situated right next door to a great big crematorium. I used to play out back in what I thought was a sandbox... On the up side, I brought home a lot of jewelry ... 4th grade, show & tell, I took in what I thought was a sand dollar... turned out to be a kneecap."-----------"I had a chameleon. He died of exhaustion. I lined his tank with Sherwin Williams' color brochures."--------------"Talking about my ugly ancestors - rough lookin' bunch - some of 'em were in The Donner Party. Nobody would eat 'em. Said they looked 'spoiled'..."------------"My Great Uncle Silas was so ugly, he could look at his reflection in the back of a spoon, and it would look normal."--------------"My second wife was named 'Elaine'. Got that tattooed on my arm. Well, it's supposed to say 'Elaine', but the guy who did the tattoo was dyslexic, so if there's any women out there named, 'Enail', I'm ready for you."-------------------"P. E. T. A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), announced that they are now accepting 'used furs' to help keep sick animals warm. That's like a nurse coming into my room and saying. 'Are you chilly, Mr. Van Tee? Well, don't worry. We've skinned your Uncle Frank to make you a blankie.'"--------------"I know not everyone loves the banjo, but to me, the sound is like an angel, peein' in my ear... or as my good friend Billy Bob Thornton likes to say, 'Doggone-it! Stop tellin' people you're my friend! ... Security!' He's Funny that way. I like to show up places where he least expects me. Some people call it, 'Stalking'. I call it, 'Enriching our friendship.'"-------------------"My Uncle Ernie wanted me to be as tough as he was, even though I was real little. He gave me my first ever pocket knife, and I still remember how excited I was, and how the sun was shining off the blade as he opened it up and laid it down next to me in the crib... He knew I was teething!"------------"I let my wife drive. She changes lanes, then she puts on her turn signal. I said, 'Honey, I thought the blinker was invented to signal 'intent', not to advertise recent accomplishments.'"-----------------"Here's a lesson what not to do. My wife said, 'Is my butt too big?' I said, 'Not for that body.'"---------------"My Mom used to say stuff like, 'Don't you ever run with scissors in this house!' And my Grandaddy would say, 'That's right! Take 'em outside, where you can get up some speed!'"-------------------"Grandaddy told me there was no such thing as Santa Claus, when I was 4 years old. 'No such thing as Santa Claus, son. Don't pout, boy! Boogie Man's real!'"
GROUP MEMBERS:
Phil Van Tee - 5 string Banjo
SONG LIST:
You & I Both Outgrew Ugly, But Our Baby's Got No Chance! - by Phil Van Tee
The Sooner I Never See Your Face Again, The Better It Will Be For Both Of Us When We Meet! - by Phil Van Tee
I Feel Much Better, But That Makes Me Feel Bad, 'Cuz When I Feel This Good, It Can Only Get Worse! - by Phil Van Tee
I Accidentally Shot My Horse, So I Had To Break His Leg - by Phil Van Tee
If You think My Heart Is Hard & Cold, You Ought To Feel My Liver! - by Phil Van Tee
Each Ex Put a Hex On The Next - by Phil Van Tee
He Gave Up Jumping On The Bed When They Installed The Ceiling Fan - by Phil Van Tee
Dust Mites In My Beard Honey - Hand Me The Hoover! - by Phil Van Tee
He Never Drank Before 'Twas Noon, 'Cuz He Slept Till 12:05 - by Phil Van Tee
The New Puppy Snores Louder Than Grampa! - by Phil Van Tee
Blind Man Hates The Wormy Apple - by Phil Van Tee
The Hand That Rocked The Cradle Has Finally Kicked The Bucket - by Phil Van Tee
If You Ever Stop Ignoring Me, You'll See I've Been Gone For Years - by Phil Van Tee
I Call You My Brown Sugar, Cuz' You're So Sweet And Unrefined - by Phil Van Tee
I Wasn't Even Looking, But You're Just What I Wasn't Looking For! - by Phil Van Tee
I'm Not Done Bein' Mad At You, I'm Just Smilin' To Rest My Face! - by Phil Van Tee
To contact 'Phil Van Tee - Standup Comic ', please fill out the form below and click the "Continue" button.
If you're a first-time user, please click here to see why you'll enjoy the convenience and peace of mind that the Gigmasters secured booking system provides.
Phil did a great job entertaining for our corporate holiday party. Everyone was utterly amazed by his magic tricks and his stand-up routine was very funny and tasteful for our event. Phil was on-time, extremely professional and very accomodating. We would definitely book Phil Van Tee again!
--Kristina W. San Diego, CA 12/12/2007
Good clean family fun. Phils 'down home' style is sure to set your guests at ease. Refreshing change from the foul mouth comedians so prevalent these days. Thumbs up for Phil, we need more like him.
--Ken W. San Diego, CA 9/30/2007
Phil did a great job!!!! He was very attentive and made me feel very comfortable from the outset. He was very easy to contact by phone or email and always got back to me. Phil's comedy and magic was very well suited for the large group of adults and kids at my wife's birthday party. His act allowed for her and others to participate and that was a big hit!!!! After his general performance, he spent quite some time performing table top magic tricks which kept many people amazed and amused. I was very happy with Phil's performance and would recommend him for any party. Phil made a very special evening even more special...thanks Phil!!! Pete R.
--Pete R. Pico Rivera, CA 9/8/2007
Phil is a pleasure to work with. He is very warm and responsive to our requests. His humor is great, purely down-home and rated E for everyone! We loved the magic tricks, too, especially the audience participation part! He has us "amazed and mystified" and laughing! Thank you Phil, for a great time!
--Kris Q. Anaheim, CA 12/9/2006
Wow, what a Birthday Party!
Zany, Hilarious, Brilliant, just a few words to try and describe this show, and different it was. I enjoyed the show and found it very funny. Phil Van Tee has a really unique show, and is great for all ages. I think this is a great way to provide entertainment for any type of party!
Teresa
--Teresa A. Irvine, CA 10/14/2006
Phil was fantastic. He was very friendly and accomodating from the outset. Everyone was laughing throughout his gig so he was a big hit.
Thanks Phil.
--Suzy R. Las Vegas, NV 9/16/2006
I was so very pleased with Phil Van Tee...he was not only a wonderful comedian but a wonderful person...he took the time to find out about the purpose behind my event..as it was a tribute to my late husband. Phil took the time to talk to me personally and showed so much compassion...and would i recommend him? you bet I would...the distance he drove just to perform at my event was more that I could have asked for...there aren't enough words to say thank you...Mr. Van Tee made my event very special and one that we will always be greatful to him for...He help me start a new chapter in my life in which I could face tomorrow with a smile...Thank very much for everything.
Sincerely,
Jennie Depue
--Jennie D. Hanford, CA 9/8/2006
Phil Van Tee is a wonderful person and a fantastic performer. He made all of us laugh -- and this covered a wide age group (the youngest being 4 yrs. and the oldest 80 yrs.).
Phil's talent, kindness, integrity, and professionalism just can't be beat.
Many of the guests at our wedding (where Phil performed) plan to hire him for their upcoming events. He will be our first choice for future events too!
We HIGHLY recommend Phil to all.
Thank you, Phil, for bringing laughter to our world.
--Jane B. Templeton, CA 6/3/2006
From the moment I booked Phil for our event I felt as if I had found a new personal friend. His talent speaks for itself if you
listen to his audio clips you will see what a truly talented gentle man he is. What you won't be able to tell from the clips is how personable and friendly he is. We had a group of about 60 physicians along with their spouses and children in attendance. Phil not only entertained the full audience with his range and style of jokes and musical quips but about an hour after the show, I found him poolside with the 17 year old son of one of my physicians. The teenager had gotten out his guitar and Phil was playing his banjo and they had a crowd of children gathered around. It warmed my heart to be able to find someone as personable as Phil to attend our conference and to watch the rapport he had with not only the adults but the youngsters as well. They say laughter is good for your soul- If that is true- the Phil Van Tee is good for your soul!! I highly recommend this entertainer!
--Carletta H. Spearfish, SD 2/3/2006
Overall Phil Van Tee was outstanding and funny! I would recommend his comedy to anybody hosting a party! I have never worked with an entertainer like Phil that would work with my party schedule and perform at such a crowd pleasing levels! Thanks Phil and Gigmasters!
--Jon E. Pocatello, ID 12/10/2005
How honored we were to have talent of this magnitude in our little Comedy Club. The audience warmed very quickly to the outstanding show. Phil is a genius at improvising with our guests. It seemed like he had planned every aspect of the show just for us. I would recommend him for any audience. We are committed to having different acts through the last of this year, but, we will be pleading to have him back, as soon as possible, in the New Year.
--John N. Fresno, CA 11/5/2005
I thought Mr. Van Tee did an absolutely excellent job. He was everything we could have hoped for and more. The guests are still talking about his perfomance today.
He was very professional and yet very down home friendly and personable. He managed to work the crowd very well and included them which made everyone feel very special.
I would definitely hire him again without hesitation. He was very easy to work with.
I am hoping to be able to take friends to see him very soon. Thanks again - - - I love your site and we all love Phil Van Tee!
Kathleen McDermed
--Kathleen M. Hawthorne, CA 7/16/2005
This event was a Rotary-sponsored fundraiser for Habitat For Humanity, and the first time we've tried anything close to a comedy venue in our community. Phil was absolutely perfect! From start to finish, his routine had everyone in hysterics. And for the true soul of wit, forget brevity; In this day and age if a comedian can make people laugh without vulgarity, I'd call them wittier by far, and Phil pulls it off beautifully. He even found little ways to personalize his act to our little town... brilliant! 10 out of 10.
--Luke T. Los Osos, CA 5/13/2005
Phil was fantastic...I will hire him again in the future. And I have already sent his name along to a frend. He was perfect. :)
Annette Kramer
--Annett K. Santa Ana, CA 12/3/2004
Phil Van Tee was awesome! He worked well with the adults as well as the children at this event! Very customer service oriented and very quick to adapt to environment with his wit and humor! I will use his services in the near future! Thanks again!
A Satisfied and Thankful Client!
--Alice J. Norwalk, CA 5/15/2004
I was a little skeptical hiring a comedian over the internet, but after some e-mail communication and a couple of phone conversations, I was satistified with hiring Phil Van Tee. Phil is truly a professional and accomodating in every way. I know from experience that speaking in a church requires that a person be sensitive to topics of conversation. Phil was great! He engaged the men at our event and kept them laughing throughout his set. On a personal level, I was able to spend time with Phil and as a man, he cares about people and has a heartfelt concern about his performances and he takes his profession very seriously. Phil also performed on Saturday morning for a group of kids from a local foster shelter. He was personable, interactive and put on a great show for the kids.
If you are looking for a comic with whom you will truly get what you pay for and you won't have to be concerned with his material being offensive in any way.......Hire Phil Van Tee!
--Will M. Cooper City, FL 6/16/2006
Phil was fantastic. He couldnt be missed entering the party being 6'8 and all. He was professional and tailored his jokes according to the crowds response. Everyone at the party taking about how great he was for weeks. I have even heard some friends repeating his jokes. I highly recommend Phil.
--Lyssa K. Redlands, CA 3/4/2006
Phil Van Tee communicated very well before booking and after. Besides being a hit with our group, he was truly interested in the individuals in our group - evident as he socialized before and after the event. Thank you!
--Gail O. Tampa, FL 1/25/2007
Please note, in addition to Los Angeles, Phil Van Tee - Standup Comic also serves the surrounding towns of Alhambra, Bell Gardens, Glendale, Huntington Park, Maywood, Monterey Park, Bell, Hollywood, Pasadena, South Pasadena, Montebello, South Gate, Burbank, Beverly Hills, Inglewood, Rosemead, San Gabriel, San Marino, Culver City, Downey, El Monte, Lynwood, Pico Rivera, Toluca Lake, Universal City, Willowbrook, Compton, La Canada, Montrose, North Hollywood and many other locations in and around the Los Angeles area.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007