PATRICK HANIFIN - CLEAN CORPORATE

A comedy veteran of 25 years and known for his SQUEAKY-CLEAN IMAGE, Patrick is a demand performer at corporate/private events, churches, clubs, and cruise lines across the country. His television credits include "EVENING AT THE IMPROV", "BEST OF STAND UP COMICS TAKE A STAND", and "COMIC STRIP LIVE". Not only has Patrick been crowned the WINNER of The Laugh Factory's Comedy Competition and the Central Coast Comedy Competition, he's also been a finalist two years in a row in the Los Angeles Comedy Competition and Orange County's Funniest Comedian Competition. Blending an arsenal of comedy coupled with hysterical and original material, Patrick is able to offer his audience a unique way of looking at the world through his style of humor. His wacky inventions will leave you craving more of his off-beat delivery and you will often ask yourself, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Testimonials

The show was fabulous! The jokes, stories, interaction with the group, you really made it about us! We had sooo many compliments and people coming to tell us how they enjoyed your performance, and how nice it was to have comedy from a comedian that didn't have foul language thru the show. Needless to say you were great! I wish you nothing but continued success with your comedy routine. Thank you again! -- Cheryl V, IADCCT Convention, Riviera Hotel, Las Vegas, NV, 12/16/09

Patrick was not only funny but very professional. We stayed in contact all the way up to the show. I have had some bad experiences in the past hiring comedians but I was beyond pleased with Patrick's overall show! Our paying guests were at the point of tears with most of his jokes. It's very hard to find a funny "clean comedian" these days but look no further. You sure kept our concert series going with ease! Hire this man and you will have no worries! Thanks again...! -- Ray W, Ciao Summer Concert Series, Riverside, CA, 8/23/08

Patrick was absolutely amazing. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard, he is extremely funny, and worth way more than he charges. My guests just raved about him, and thanks to Patrick, I'm known as throwing the best parties. I can't wait to hire him to come back again! -- Krystal D, Birthday Party, Lancaster, CA, 12/6/08

Very funny and great guy. It's been a long time since I got cheek cramps from laughing so hard!! -- Rick C, Graduation Party, Commerce, CA, 2/29/08

PATRICK HANIFISMS

IKEA - Everything that you buy in IKEA says, "Some assembly required". I bought a throw rug there. When I got home and opened up the box, it was a needle and some yarn.

News - I heard on the news today that our government is listening in on our phone conversations. Personally, I think that's a good idea. My girlfriend called me up today to break up. I go, "Oh, is that because I don't want to get involved with you and Al-Qaida?"

Exercise - I'm a member at 24 Hour Fitness. That's a great gym! I got a membership there for 99 dollars a year. It works out to just under 50 bucks a visit.

Weight Watchers - I actually joined Weight Watchers. At first I didn't think that it would work... but in 6 weeks I've already lost 85 dollars!

Banks - I don't think they're doing very well. I asked them my balance and they said I was overdrawn. I said, "How can I be overdrawn? I just made a deposit 3 days ago." They said, "Yeah, but we needed that money!"

This is fun to do. You know how at night there's always someone at the bank at the ATM machine taking out their money and they're really nervous? Stand real close right behind them, then look over their shoulder, and go, "Hey, was that last digit a 5 or a 6?"

California State Lottery - I keep hoping to win the California State Lottery. Wouldn't that be great?! They come over to your house, knock on your door, and then they hand you that giant IOU!

99 Cent Store - I love that store! That's the only store I know where you can actually buy the AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF GARY COLEMAN.

The Gap - This is fun. Go into the Gap clothing store. When they go, "Can I help you?" Say, "Yes, you know those machines that take the plastic tags off the clothes?" "Uh huh" "Where can you get one of those?"

Alcohol - I don't drink. I used to, but it started to interfere with my life. I'd drink all day, then later I'd try to do something like play tennis. I'd be out on the court and open up the can to get the balls, then find out I brought Pringles.

Anniversaries, Apres Ski Parties, Awards Nights, Bachelor Parties, Bachelorette Parties, Banquets, Birthday Parties, Children's Birthday Parties, Casinos, Celebrations, Christmas Parties, Church Services, Clubs, Coffee Shops, Community Events, Conventions, Corporate Functions, Country Clubs, Cruise Ships, Dinner Dances, Festivals, Fraternity Functions, Fund Raisers, Funerals, Graduation Parties, Grand Openings, Hotels, Movie Soundtracks, Picnic, Private Parties, Proms, Resorts, Restaurants, Reunions, Showers, Sorority Function, TV Soundtracks, Weddings

• Patrick was absolutely amazing. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard, he is extremely funny, and worth way more than he charges. My guests just raved about him, and thanks to Patrick I'm known as throwing the best parties. I can't wait to hire him to come back again! -- Krystal D, Lancaster, CA, 12/6/2008
• He was very accommodating. He called and checked in and kept us informed of what he was going to talk about. He asked questions about members of our board, so that he could incorporate them into the show. He poked fun at some of the people in the audience, and everyone enjoyed him. He was funny and kept us laughing. The day after the show, I had a lot of people coming up and thanking me for finding a great entertainer. I immediatly told them to check Gig Masters, the sight was really easy, and fun to talk to the entertainers and hard to narrow it down to just one! Thank you Gig Masters I will keep recommending you! -- Tammy S, Las Vegas, NV, 1/20/2009
• Great show...Patrick lived up to his demo that I had seen and conversations I had with him. Patrick kept it clean and lively. -- Dennis E, Litchfield Park, AZ, 2/28/2009

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